The Drive to Pittsburgh
I drove the interminable road from Gettysburg to Pittsburgh. For the first time in my life, and the first time for any of us in this road trip, I got pulled over. It was during a 60 mile stretch where I drove on some one lane "highway" It was one of those situations where I genuinely didn't know what I had possibly done. Officer Duchebag (his name, not mine) asked me if I knew the speed limit. I guessed 35, successfully, I might add.
"And do you know how fast you were going?" assholed the cop.
"I couldn't have been going more than 45" Etan pleaded.
"Actually, it was 46, more like 47; Wait, I'll tell you exactly- 46.8"
"Fuck You" said Etan's head. Etan's mouth remained silent.
"I don't know how things work in New York, but here we have laws…" obonxioused el cop-o
Somehow he knew that we didn't have laws. Very clever. Shockingly, he came back and issued me only a warning and not a ticket. He then proceeded to slap me on the wrist. He finished up a little easier "How long until they (Av, Booch, Abie, Harold) let you forget about this?" "We're very good about letting jokes go," Av explained.
One important car discussion to recount – What is the middle band on the spectrum between hard and soft music? We are assuming that the right wing rockiest band in existence is something we haven’t heard of or don’t know- let’s just call it Megadeth. The left wing? The softest? Celine Dion, we suggest. So- what is the middle? Here’s where we are now, but this discussion is sure to be repeated: Counting Crows. Yes, it’s soft, very soft. But…. A teeny bopper is more likely to listen to a U2 song, for example, than Counting Crows. I personally feel like the right answer is still out there…
Pittsburgh is shockingly beautiful. Downtown is an amazing area. The rivers are great. The buildings are beautiful, the bridges are astounding. I guess all my impressions of Pittsburgh are based on the fact that its nickname is steel town and repeated viewings of “Flashdance.” I guess I expected Pittsburgh to be full of hot chicks throwing fire at steel and then getting dumped on by tubs of water. Suffice it to say, it wasn’t that.
Pittsburgh is the most beautiful city we’ve been to so far. Take that Washington DC, Baltimore, and Gettysburg. Snap. Oh, Snap.
The Mets and Pirates played a baseball gfame
its coming up next installment....