Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Driving... and not driving

The Drive to Pittsburgh

I drove the interminable road from Gettysburg to Pittsburgh. For the first time in my life, and the first time for any of us in this road trip, I got pulled over. It was during a 60 mile stretch where I drove on some one lane "highway" It was one of those situations where I genuinely didn't know what I had possibly done. Officer Duchebag (his name, not mine) asked me if I knew the speed limit. I guessed 35, successfully, I might add.
"And do you know how fast you were going?" assholed the cop.
"I couldn't have been going more than 45" Etan pleaded.
"Actually, it was 46, more like 47; Wait, I'll tell you exactly- 46.8"
"Fuck You" said Etan's head. Etan's mouth remained silent.
"I don't know how things work in New York, but here we have laws…" obonxioused el cop-o

Somehow he knew that we didn't have laws. Very clever. Shockingly, he came back and issued me only a warning and not a ticket. He then proceeded to slap me on the wrist. He finished up a little easier "How long until they (Av, Booch, Abie, Harold) let you forget about this?" "We're very good about letting jokes go," Av explained.

One important car discussion to recount – What is the middle band on the spectrum between hard and soft music? We are assuming that the right wing rockiest band in existence is something we haven’t heard of or don’t know- let’s just call it Megadeth. The left wing? The softest? Celine Dion, we suggest. So- what is the middle? Here’s where we are now, but this discussion is sure to be repeated: Counting Crows. Yes, it’s soft, very soft. But…. A teeny bopper is more likely to listen to a U2 song, for example, than Counting Crows. I personally feel like the right answer is still out there…


Pittsburgh is shockingly beautiful. Downtown is an amazing area. The rivers are great. The buildings are beautiful, the bridges are astounding. I guess all my impressions of Pittsburgh are based on the fact that its nickname is steel town and repeated viewings of “Flashdance.” I guess I expected Pittsburgh to be full of hot chicks throwing fire at steel and then getting dumped on by tubs of water. Suffice it to say, it wasn’t that.

Pittsburgh is the most beautiful city we’ve been to so far. Take that Washington DC, Baltimore, and Gettysburg. Snap. Oh, Snap.

The Mets and Pirates played a baseball gfame
its coming up next installment....


Student of The Game said...

Maybe R.E.M.?

Which reminds me to ask (I'm lying - this is my wife's query), was the music for the trip planned in advance via mix CD's/iPod playlist, or is part of the travel "experience" shuffling through local radio stations?

Raimy said...

Say hi to Steely McBeam for me.

Tamar said...

Maybe the cop thought you were cute...? What exactly did he slap?

Matt Foley said...

I don't think that you have the right to call the cop a "Duchebag" or an Asshole (see "assholed the cop") because of the fact that he let you off and didn't issue you a ticket. On that note - if one is given a ticket on this road he, the driver solely responsible to pay for it or do you all have an agreement?

Danny the Manny said...

Members of the Round Table:

If the driver is pulled over for speeding while on a road trip with friends, should the other people int he car be responsible to chip in for the cost of the ticket?

Man Law Solution:

No, it's the sole responsibility of the driver to abide by all Statewide laws during the course of the trip. Similarly, if a passenger is ticketed for mooning or flipping off a police officer he must pay the fine himself.

Rachel said...

In response to your query, I was thinking on the way to work about an "in-between" band. I've concluded with a few possibilities that could rival your decision of Counting Crows:

1) Lifehouse- With songs like "Hanging By A Moment" and "You and Me", the group certainly appeals to fans across the spectrum (not the Uri Burger spectrum).
2) Bon Jovi- any teenybopper knows the words to "Livin on Prayer" and "It's My Life".

Aerosmith's "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" put this group on the teenybopper map (with props to "Armageddon" animal cracker scene), but Lifehouse and Bon Jovi are probably more universal in their appeal.

Shana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shana said...

First of all, I have to give props to Av for what I believe to be the funniest line of the road trip yet: "We're very good about letting jokes go."
Now that's funny.

In terms of middle of the road music, I have to go with Nickelback and, more recently, Daughtry (any "rock" band with songs on z100's playlist can fall into this catergory).

Thanx for keeping those of us bound by obligation in the real world thoroughly entertained- Keep it coming
--Shani Muschel (referred by BiMus)

Yassi said...

Daughtry, Lifehouse, and Nickelback are the same band and something should be done to stop them from making up different names to get more bad music on our radios.

Danny the Manny said...

Along the same lines of Yassi, I question whether "Shana" isn't actually BiMus in drag. Shamus would just be too unflattering a nickname, even for a John Travolta wannabe.

Harold said...

In response to Matt Foley, one of the first things discussed inthe car was what would occur if one of us received a ticket. While it is highly unlikely that I am the one who is cited for excessive speed becuase I am an old man trapped in a 24 year old's body, we decided that the other Road Trippers should pay the ticket because the driver will have many other expenses to cover (Lawyer, insurance, points, etc.) Thanks for the inquiry, Matt. I guess you are interested in all van related matters, even if said van is not down by the river.

Amir said...

Goo Goo Dolls?