Wednesday, August 22, 2007

20 Hours in America

Indiana is the most random place on earth. It edges out Pee Wee’s Playhouse by one ear of corn. Accordingly (and because I should go to sleep), I am going to try to breeze through the day’s highlights in a much quicker fashion than normal.

Giant Woman’s Leg Sundial
That was what was typed on our itinerary. I was not sure whether this was a giant statue of a woman’s leg that was used as a sundial, a giant woman who posed her leg for the greater time-giving-based-on-the-sun good, or a regular woman who happens to have a gigantic leg, who happens to pose that leg in sundial formation, in Indiana.

It turns out it was the first option (but again- Indiana… random… all possible) and it was a giant statue. But there is one detail of the statue we have not quite shared yet…

It’s in a nudist colony.

Yeah, a nudist colony. A colony of nudes.

We had no idea what to expect when we went into this place, but one thing we were pretty confident about: this was the beginning to a movie. We weren’t sure whether it would be a porn movie or a horror movie, but that someone was filming us was undeniable.

As it turned out – the morning was pretty bleak and stormy meaning two things: 1) There was no sun to shine through to be potentially dialed. 2) We did not see any naked people. This, by the way, worked out very well for us, based on all the clothed people we saw.

The most naked thing there was the giant sundial. It was voluptuous and tempting. It showed just enough leg to make me wonder what is covered underground.

Indianapolis Motor Speedway – Quick hits:

  • The Speedway is much longer than other sports stadiums. I will learn that this is because the track itself is two and a half miles long. Now you have learned it.
  • The parking lot for the museum is located smack in the middle of the racing track. That’s awesome. I know, I was there.
  • There is an actual sign on the door to the museum that says: “Shirt and Shoes Required.” I guess they’re not actually providing a service in the classical sense, so they needed a variation on the sign.
  • The track is nicknamed the brickyard because its original paving was done in brick. The start/ finish line is still in brick to this day. Honestly… who would think driving on brick is a good idea?
  • The stands are interesting. I would say that there’s really no such thing as a bad seat. All the seats are close to the track, but the downside of the track’s length is that no one can see the whole race, you can only see what’s in front of you. The other downside about the stands is that if you are in them, you are watching auto racing.
  • The custom of drinking milk starter with race winner Louis Meyer who drank buttermilk, not to celebrate his victory, but because it was hot out and that’s what he drank to refresh himself. This confuses me. It is my understanding that in situation where it is so damn hot, milk is a bad choice.
  • Race cars used to be shaped like penises. I can’t explain it better. Look it up.
  • The first race cars went ten, ten miles per hour. And usually when they were pulled over they went to the side of the track, not the middle.
  • There are only three races a year that take place on the Speedway; Seems like a waste is all I’m saying.

NCAA Hall of Champions

  • It’s located in this one great area in downtown Indianapolis. There is one big park facility and within it are: the hall of champions, the Indianapolis zoo, the Indianapolis State museum, a native American art museum, gardens, the White River, the Imax, and fields and picnic areas. Across the street are the RCA Dome (home of the Colts), and Victory Field. Within 5 minutes are Conseco Field House (the Pacers) and the capitol building. Dear Indianapolis, Your city is very convenient. Love, Etan.
  • One weakness in our planning – we got there about 20 minutes before closing
  • One strength in our planning- they had already shut down the register so we went for free.
  • It was very interactive- more so than any other museum we have seen, including:
    • Watching clips of many NCAA championship games
    • Listening to different school theme songs
    • Trying on different sports equipment
    • A pitch area with mile-per-hour measurements. (mid to low 60s, in case you were wondering our range)
    • A basketball court you can play on that also marks the spot of famous shots such as Bryce Drew, Christian Laettner, Jordan and Tyus Edney.
  • It’s really a fun place… If you ever end up there, give it more time.

Superhero Museum
I have little to say about this only because it is pretty mediocre right now. The museum (read as “one weird room in the back of another weird room”) opened in April and is still pretty small. It also only commemorates Batman and Superman right now. If there’s anything I learned from watching super hero movies it is not to piss these people off. They should think about enshrining many more people ASAP.

They have a lot of television and film memorabilia, so if you are a big fan of Lois and Clark, Smallville, or the 1960s Batman TV series… this may be the place for you.

That’s all for Indiana, I just want to try to give you a visual of it. Indiana looks like Indiana but with less houses and more corn. Hope that helps.

Wednesday… Louisville

1 comment:

AniOhevMets said...

Etan - Im glad I caught you before the trip ended. Great stuff. You just got me 85% of the way through the work-day catching up to your old posts.
Now, for the final 15%... Garbage-can Basketball!