Wherever I am is where amazing happens

I will now pick up where AV left off. Though it is a hard act to follow.And I am still recovering from Vegas.

Again I number. Because bullets kill people.

And Math is good for your brain.

More Vegas.

Man, so much happened. So much of it was insane. So much of it was stuff I would tell people about for the rest of my life. But unfortunately I am bound to stay mum. We were supposed to leave the morning after Av left. We extended the trip for one more night. Because Vegas is Awesome. Pretty self explanatory really. Now some random thoughts on Vegas.

1. Penn & Teller- Way lamer than I expected. Though I have never seen them perform live I had seen half of the act in other places. Notable examples included the “Teller smokes a cigarette while Penn plays the bass like a jackass” and “That thing we did on the episode of the West Wing with the flag” bits. (Don’t be surprised by a WW reference in every post. WW is like torah. Kulah bah).

2. Mystere – Way more jaw dropping, eye bulging, heart stopping, and “how the F^&$ did they do that” inducing than I could have ever imagined. Truly an unreal experience. To say more would rob you off the pure joy you’ll experience seeing it as I did. In the front row and not sober.

3. The Wynn- Our faithful followers already have heard of my utter disbelief that the swankiest hotel on the Strip doesn’t get HBO. Well I’ll tell you something else they don’t get, Economics. Paying extra money for the luxury of They Wynn should entitle guests to exclusive perks unavailable at other hotels. Instead it grants guests the opportunity to pay even more ludicrous sums of money for things that are complimentary at other hotels. Access to the fitness center for one day was $30. It is complimentary with a $75 spa/salon treatment, but the cheapest one was $150. Also I hated the toilets, too high off the ground.

4. The greatest trick the devil ever played was tricking people into paying money to vacation in a desert. You roast just walking across the street. Matzoh Balls are kind of the same. It is being served in gourmet restaurants now. Like the Village Steakhouse in Vegas, or Abigail’s in NY, as Jeff Nathan famously publicized when he beat down Bobby Flay. This was barely even really food back in the day. It was made with the mushy detritus from real cooking because people had nothing else. Now it costs 8 bucks a bowl.

So we drive to LA.

1. Went to Pico Kosher Deli. I have heard rave reviews. I thought it was pretty good. But it’s hard to screw up a turkey sandwich.

2. Off to the Dodger game. In reverse order let me tell you what happened and then my impressions of the stadium and its fans. Please keep in mind that 11 days ago I was present for Soriano’s walk off Grand Slam at Wrigley.

3. The dodgers won. And in very impressive fashion I might add. Down 4-2 in the bottom of the ninth. Pierre leads off with a weak infield single that the pitcher can’t handle. Furcal singles so it’s first and third. I now realize that if Ethier walks. Manny would be up with the bases loaded , nobody out - giving me an opportunity to witness my second consecutive walk off Grand Slam. Alas - history was foiled because Ethier didn’t walk. He ended it himself with a walk off three run homer. 11 days ago I saw Soriano hit a walk off homer, and tonight I witnessed a Soriano surrender a game winning walk off homer. Though in a way Ethier’s is more impressive because Soriano only needed a single.

4. In the eighth I mentioned to Ushi that Chipper Jones was a triple short of the cycle (he walked, making him still a triple short of a mega cycle) and Ushi said that Chipper hits them all the time. This seemed very wrong to me, as I pointed out how rare they are and how few players have hit multiple cycles. Elias and Wiki later confirmed my understanding. Only three players have ever hit the cycle three times. About a dozen more have done it twice. Chipper Jones has done it zero times.

5. Going off on a rant here. ChaCha sucks big time. Sucks bigger than Tommy Tammisimo. They answered my Q about Jones’ cycle as follows “Chipper Jones has had 7,337 hits altogether in his career Cha Cha On! So I texted back that nobody could ever have that many hits. And please keep the answer to the topic of cycles. They responded “Chipper Jones has appeared in 2119 games with a .309 average…” Cha Cha sucks, sucks big time.

6. Dodger Stadium is unlike any other stadium. It sits at the base of a ravine or valley. The entrance is on the third level, which is built into the hillside of the rim surrounding the field and you have to walk down to the field and main level seats. It’s so 1950’s there. It just looks weird. The seats are cheap plastic in garishly bright yellow for the main levels. My seats on the third level were aquamarine.

7. Despite the stadium only filling to more than 30% capacity between the 5^th and 7^th innings, they really do love their Dodgers out here. A lot of Dodger blue, and it gets crazy loud, and never more so than for Manny.

8. This shows you one of the main reasons why it is better in life not to be an A-hole than to be an A-hole. A-rod took steroids but did not miss games. He is routinely booed. Manny missed 50 games and they cheer for him as if he single handedly defeated an advancing army.

Matt